How To Accept the space your spouse needs

Updated: Aug 19, 2019

We’ve said it before and we will say it again: the first person you have a relationship is with yourself. This point is very crucial to understand when you make the decision to share yourself with someone else. You cater to what you like to eat and what your favorite shows are. You know when you need love and when you need space.

Sometimes when we make a commitment to another person, we think we are all that person needs and vice versa. We break our backs to please the other person and feel disappointed when our acts of service or time is not appreciated. “What am I doing wrong?” is usually the thought that comes to mind when we can’t satisfy our partners in one way or another.

It's very possible that you, your attitude, or your actions was the reason your partner needed space. It's also possible that your partner had a bad day at work, has a headache, wants to sleep, or is grieving. It could literally be anything. It is necessary to remember that sometimes your partner needs time with themselves before inviting you in.

When your partner needs to spend time with themselves that does not always mean they do not want to spend time with you. That means that there is something they need to take care of, contemplate, or consider about themselves.

What we have to remember is that sometimes we crave this solitude as well. This is because we have to take care of ourselves first. We cannot take care of, cater to, or appreciate anyone or anything unless we make sure we are feeling a certain percent of alright.

Don’t be afraid if your partner needs space. Don’t be embarrassed to request space from your partner. Don’t give into fear. Give into love.

The best way to do that is with the following phrase: "Thank you for letting me know that you need space. I want you to know that I love you and I am concerned about you. When you are ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen."

This statement repeats your partner's request to confirm that you have heard it, you respond with your emotions (which are important), and you resolve the matter in a loving and respectful way.

Give it a shot the next time your partner needs some space. Watch your relationship transform.

Peace, love and gratitude,

Shelbie Ali

Have you noticed that you or your partner needs more space than usual? This may mean that the space is not being used wisely. Taking space is just as important as using that space. We chose to use our time when we needed space to change our eating habits. It literally transformed our relationship. Check out our FREE eBook, "Our Success Story" for all the details. Download it HERE.

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